i c a n n o t t a k e t h i s w e a t h e r a n y l o n g e r.
i mean really, it's june and my nose is running and it's not allergies. my finger tips and feet are so cold i'm wondering where my slippers are.
i'm crabby and i'm cold. there's always high hopes for some freakin' sunshine, and they get dashed again. i can't get anything painted outside and my motivation and my mood are crap.
sorry, no sun shiney words here. it's my major struggle living here, even jacked up on my vitamin d supplements i wonder where my motivated, happy-go-lucky, spunky self is because i miss her. the crabby, constantly tired lady who lives here is a freak. i wish i could shake myself out of it, but it's so hard. i still have the start and stop problem with my hand crafts. it seems i lose my mojo after i barely have started. i look forward to bed waaaay to much. it's hard. it really is, and none of this affects my husband which doesn't help his understanding. now we're talking special expensive lights and therapy. i need some art action and sunshine people. i fantasize about hopping on a plane and getting the heck out of here.
i know, i know this place is amazingly beautiful and all that. there is so much i can appreciate about living here. truthfully i don't think i can survive here much longer. it feels like i'm losing myself. i really don't want this to be a downer post. i can rally, moslty, and homeschool my kids, run errands, play board games, go to our homeschool groups, see friends...but it's all hard.
that's where i am right now. that's what my ebb and flow post was about, that's my lack of motivation, my crabbiness that is epic here, my impatience, my sadness (well, that and being soooo far from so many nearest and dearest to me). i'm struggling.
enough said.... i'm ready to get on with the day. pack for a camping trip, with lots of fleece and hopefully a big fire. one of my east coastie friends is here! yay!
3 comments:
Awwww honey...I hope you are feeling better! I wish you lived closer and we could whine and wine together! :) And they you'd be right near the PDX airport for trips back east when you needed them. But I'll stop pestering you now. You rock for being honest about it all.
It is always good to speak your truth sister. I just wish you could come sit in the sun with me! We have plenty of it to go around. I am sorry you are feeling stuck, frustrated and cold. I feel for you big time. Here's hoping the summer sun makes it your way very soon!!! Love you very much.
kat.... i didn't know. i miss you and i am lost in my own stew right now with moving. lets see each other before we go and after. i am moving to an even shadier spot. i want to tell you all about it, and i want to hug you. lovelovelovelove. even if you are out of this funk (we have now had 2 whole days of summer!) i want you to know i'm here when you need me, even if i'm there, if that makes sense.
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